I come to you with, yes you have guessed it, even more contemplative thoughts that seem to constantly float around my mind. I don’t want to ask these questions to anyone specifically in case they grow tired or annoyed at me–with this you choose to read it. I’ve trapped you 😉
For a moment think of someone whom you cannot live without; that closeness, the memories, those intimate secrets and feelings. Revel in that feeling, hold it close–now imagine if that person just left. No words, no goodbyes, and no warning you wouldn’t see this person again. Heartbreaking isn’t it? Stay with me for a little longer. Now imagine that you’re tired of waiting for this person and assume you want to try (try is the word of emphasis here) and move on from this person who abandoned you. Say you meet a few people, all of which have a certain charm to them but it isn’t quite what you’re looking for. Two people admire you physically–so physically you begin to think that they’re only around in case you decide to fuck him/her. The other two are shy and you share a somewhat deep emotional bond with but their mentality isn’t on the level you desire. So your pickiness has left you alone–that same empty feeling that reminds you of the day your loved one up and left. Yes, you feel quite lonely and empty, but you’re picky with your who you decide to give your heart to because you can’t afford another heartbreak. So you figure why not wait for the person to return? I mean, hell, you love him/her still so why not? Then you find out the person you’ve been waiting on has given up on you. Now I may ask: What do you do now that you’re all alone because no one seems to fit your seemingly high criteria?
Let’s have another rhetoric situation shall we? You find someone, a nice someone, and this someone is a decent distraction from your broken heart. You go on a date, this person is affectionate–really, really affectionate, and wants you to go back to his/her place. You go but it’s the first date so sex isn’t really on your mind. This person has every intention to try and fuck you even though you clearly said no sex until the fifth date. Or, for example, people only hit you up to have sex because they don’t want to get to know you they only want to fuck you and leave you. Don’t you feel worthless and incapable of establishing and keeping a successful relationship? I mean, c’mon, not even your lover wanted to stay with you.
My point to these two topics are this: If you can’t put out, they leave right? And if you don’t put out then you can’t maintain or even get a relationship, right? Because this is a pattern I’m beginning to see quite frequently. You want sex but portray you’re wanting to establish a relationship; I want a relationship and hold off on sex but you leave because he is impatient? If this is what “love” is supposed to be then I would much rather be alone than to deal with this.