Pursuit to my happiness

Archive for July, 2012

The Fine Line That We Walk

Today I heard someone say that anyone who uses sex to sell art, or to promote their work, is considered porn-freaks.

As humans we have learned to observe, to question what we see and how we percieve it. For example, art. The definition of art is: Works produced by such skill and imagination. Hold on to that thought because I’m about to bring up another definition. Sex–yes, that overromanticized but so seemingly beautiful act that people create and make every three seconds. But how would you define it? Sex doesn’t necessarily have one concrete definition because many people view the topic to be considered several different things. Everyone knows that the initial act of putting the male genitalia into the female sex is, ultimately, considered sexual intercourse; so if everyone can agree that this knowledge is considered sex, wouldn’t you say that when you are having sex, or making love as I like to say, that you and your partner are using your skill and imaginations to create this bond?

Would you consider art as a form of sex or sex as a form of art? If you look at it as two seperate topics then it seems to complicate the mind, therefore tricking it into believing that each subject cannot form any kind of bond. But, as I like to believe, that there is a bond.


Sex is a form of art, especially in today’s modern society because it is a subject that many artists enjoy capturing. Whether you watch it, explore it, experience it, draw it, paint it, film it, etc., artists choose sex because when the chemistry is pure that welcomes many inspirational thoughts; many inspiring works.

Image– Terry Richardson


Artists use nudity and sex not only because it’s inspiring, but because it sells. Look around you; when is the last time you’ve opened a magazine and didn’t see any kind of sexual picture to sell a bottle of perfume? Sex is a beautiful and broad topic and since it’s no longer much of a taboo subject anymore many people are exploring more in to it to push and explore those boundaries. People like to see what they can get away with and sex is one of the leading topics chosen to test with.

Before you judge what is “porn” or what is art, examine the photo or sculpture and allow your emotions to flood your body for a moment–take it in.

“Is sex dirty? Only when it’s being done right.” 
―    Woody Allen



The book of Revelation has always been intriguing to me, in that it seems to cover up more than it reveals.  The metaphors and similes leave a great deal of information to be interpreted by the reader.  If you’re like most people you leave that up to the more learned individual.  There could be a college course on that book alone.

So,  what is Revelations trying to show to us?  The signs that befall the end of the world?  The final battle between good and evil?  Maybe its to show us what heaven is going to be like once we die…of course if you make it.  Whatever the reason for it, it has been the cause of much debate from it’s inception.  Now,  as a preacher’s kid,  I heard just about every interpretation of this book that one could imagine, but none of them ever satisfied my desire for clarity.

There are so many versions of what’s right and…

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Your Mind Says No, But Your Heart Says Yes

When you have to make a choice and don’t make it, that is in itself a choice. – William James


There comes a time in every human’s life to make a decision, to make a choice, to post a path; but what happens if you don’t make that choice? What happens when your mind is telling you something different than what your heart says? Do you sit back and let the situation ride out; or do you decide and stick to your decision? Do you have any regrets?

When I get logical and I don’t trust my instincts – Thats when I get in trouble.- Angelina Jolie
You have a thing called a brain, and its competitor the heart, which, when the two are in synch with the other, you, ulitimately, have this grande plan set out for yourself. But when your mind tells you to let something go and your heart tells you to give something a chance, which do you end up listening to? Whatever choice you decide to make, if you make one, will effect you for the rest of your life–no matter how miniscule the situation is.
Every mind must make its choice between truth and repose. It cannot have both. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
What is right for you? Is it better to prolong and drag someone along until the situation dies out or should you face the situation head on and deal with it?
Why do we have to make such difficult decisions? Why were we brought up to make a choice in the beginning? We all have to make sacrifices to get where we want, how we want it, when we want it, and who we want it with. But why do we have to make these heartwrenching decisions? If your goal is to be happy and your happiness is love, why sacrifice a career? Or vice versa.
Something that I’ve been thinking about lately is: if I had to choose between genuine happiness or beautiful success, which would I pick and why? Why do we have to only choose one? Why can’t we have both?
The point to this is; with anything you face you will be given two (or quite possibly more, but it ultimately comes down between two) options which one of them being the one you want while the other will be the one you need. With any sacrifice we have two contenders we must help us make our decision: our mind and our heart. If we use our mind, our logic, will you get jibbed? If our heart is our answer, will we be faced with stupidity?

Everyone has a choice–no matter how they go about making it.

xx B

@Undrea_II gets his own blog post

Instead of working this is where I go; the endless dimensions of the Internet. Nice, right? *sarcasm*


It is now July, and so far a lot has happened with me since school has let out. Got a job, found myself a bit more–but my primary focus of this entry wasn’t to, necessarily, talk about myself, it’s more of an explaination.

Over the course of late June up until now I have been a complete asshole to my friend Undrea…maybe it’s been longer? For some reason when school lets out, and everybody departs, I have this shitty coping mechanism called distance; basically, I like to detach myself from everyone so I won’t get emotionally attached to anyone, especially guys. That within itself is a blog entry, so I’ll save the details, not like they matter anyways…but, you know, some people like to justify other peoples’ actions by hearing a reason. The “new”, it’s not new, I do it every year–we just now got close enough so you can actually see it, me has seemed to ruffle your feathers in the wrong way. If I were you I would think the same thing, but the idea to me is I don’t like to get too close to people when I’m away from them and you kept trying to get closer when I didn’t want to. I should have said something, but I was afraid that it would hurt you when I wasn’t, intentionally, wanting to do that. Suppose it ended up happening either way?

Another thing that happens during the summer, when I draw in to myself, is I get very uncomfortable around guys, believe it or not–and since you’re a guy and you kept wanting to get close it just made me uncomfortable, it reminded me of bad times. Again, sap story that I will pledge to forever keep to myself, but it’s true.

I never intended to hurt you because you are a good friend, even though I’ve been a very shitty one, but you have to understand that with me I like to keep some things to myself. I’ve not told one person everything that’s going on in my life–ever, and I don’t plan to either.

What I’m trying to say is I’m sorry I haven’t explained this to you and I really apologise for blowing up in your face. I can call you and say it, or text this to you if you want, but I can’t guarantee it would make as much sense as this. You can even say, “Fuck off, bitch whore nugget” and I’ll understand.

I’m really sorry for causing all of this….

Looking Through Glass

Let’s say for a moment that you were inside of my mind; you feel my stress, my anxiety and my passion, but what good would it do if you don’t understand it? What if you don’t understand how I feel? For a moment just think what it’s like to be bold, to always have somebody else make that first initial move that haunts and worries your mind every time you pass by her? “What if she’s it? What if she isn’t?” Two choices: either find out if she is or think about if you should pursue something that may seem skeptical to you. You were always so skeptical at pursuing something foreign. Let’s go back to the mind; she thinks out her emotions and feelings, could you handle that? Sometimes you worry so much if she’d be able to handle you and all of your minor insecurities, the same insecurities that make your character and help you choose what you want in a wise and simplistic fashion. Will you be able to handle all that her mind carries? You always see her think all of the time, her stares are constantly judging and discriminating, there’s always something, or somebody, to be concerned about. There’s a lot of thoughts and deep depths in there.

Your mind has to look through hers as if you were looking through a glass.

Let’s travel down into the chest where her heart thuds hard at the sound of your voice. Will you be able to understand why she’s silent around you? Will it finally be clear that your presence alone causes her tongue to tie up in silly little knots as her mind begins to race? There goes that mind thing again, always churning quickly to process everything that she intakes. She is an observer, you know. If you feel her heart can you appreciate that she only saves all of the love and affection for you? Will you wonder why she never shows it to anyone else or will you finally understand that she doesn’t want anybody else in her arms except for you? This is the second strongest organ in her tiny little body, it feels and does so much for that she can only hope, one day, you will feel her and begin to understand that it is helping you, too.

When you feel, will you feel that time she takes out of her life just to satisfy you will seem a lot more special? Will you feel what she touches and understand why she smiles when it reminds her of you? And how quickly her reactions are when they send those ‘butterflies’ that flutter her heart then up to that constantly thinking brain of hers as it gives her body the ‘okay’ to search for such a pleasure? Will you understand?

She only wants you to be able to understand her without questions–she finds comfort in trusting you. If only you were to make that move…
Sometimes it’s hard trying to define what your heart wants, what her mind wants, but for once there is some kind of unified, unwritten agreement. It’s up to you how far you would like to pursue the one you’re curious about, but don’t forget to feel her mind, think about your heart, and remember the touch you two both will feel.



Food for thought.


Food for Thought

I know why you cry, you know why others cry. The urge to release the feelings of being happy, sad, angry and mad is swarming your head. It’s warming your heart. The distance that you place between yourself and the concrete wall is slim to none; we can’t come in, you aren’t coming out. So tell me, if I know why you cry and you know why others cry, why won’t you allow yourself to cry?

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