Pursuit to my happiness

Archive for February, 2012

Pour that Candlewax

This song has a really sexy drum to it, and on top of that the lyrics are kind of possessive yet hot. I can’t understand why I find it so sexy either, but I do. Something about this song makes me want to get some leather and bond someone to the bed then use a sort of whip? Maybe candlewax. Either way, it’s the kind of song that brings out my kink side…especially the dirty talking in the background.



I should make a music video to this, I already have who would be my male leading role. Not sure who would be a hot female? Maybe some exotic looking brunette? I don’t know. I should become a director and an editor…

Enjoy 😉


Best part is “know that all pain is temporary, this affects all of your decisions”. This just made my day.

chronicles of the fall

give your power over to no onefight for what matters   •   find ways to cheat the system, just don’t cheat peopleremain skeptical forever   •    learn to really listen – the best conversations are not planned or scripted and are side by side not in front of the other   •   survive on a little just to prove you can do itstarve if you have to, far as long as you need to   •   know that all pain is temporary, this affects all of your decisionsdon’t take anything personally, ever   •   examine everything – your jealousy, your anger, your frustration and you’ll learn a lot about yourselfdon’t examine the mirror, vanity is incapable of depth(love)   •   Courage is a learned skill – get used to feeling stupid, it’s a sign of…

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Seduce. Amuse. Entertain.

Addiction Lead to Stubbornness–Music

Yet again, I am a horrible student. Youtubing instead of researching…….such a disappointment to my zodiac. On the positive side, the distraction is very much worth it….

I love Jared’s power over a crowd….very attractive.

Shannon is so black, too. I want to be his friend so very badly!

Tomo exudes his guitar swag…never seen any guitarist have so much swag as he played. I want to be his friend, too!

Kayne killed it. He is cool, he will own your soul. Be nice to him.






We’re Only as Free as the Skin on Our Bodies

We only think we’re being held back, but really we are our own key. We are our own answer to the thousands of questions that cloud our minds. How ignorant we can be. I love how we use clothes to signify protection and modesty; however, even though clothes are our “protectors”, wouldn’t you think that the removal of them would be even freer? Won’t you be a little more carefree if our clothes were off?

I say let us all remove our clothes slowly, so it doesn’t appear as though we’re in any kind of rush, and set ourselves free from the confinements of our clothes. Our bodies deserve to breathe, too.


Put Your Pencils Down


Growing older I’ve learned three things so far.


1. The older that we get the more we learn and the more we will learn. No matter our psychological, physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual make up, we will continually keep learning.

2. As we develop a keener sense of self we always will “want”; for example, love, lust, better being, better lives, better selves…

3. At last, the hardest thing for me to learn, that as much as we say we don’t want it, as much as we try to ignore those feelings of being left out, we need love as much as we want it. It’s in our genes, it’s pulsing and racing through our veins and blood. I want it.

I want you.

I never thought I’d say those so publicly, but I remember when you used to make me smile so childishly. I remember the days where I felt like somebody, where I was somebody. The days where I wasn’t afraid to chase what I wanted, almost in a  naive mindset…those were the days. I miss the days where I could say “I love you,” and smile when you would kiss my nose. It seems so long ago now…who knew  four years would change me so dramatically? I used to be so alive, I used to have colour to my flesh, my cheeks were always flushed, my lips would tingle. I could feel. Laughter used to be so much more enjoyable, pain used to be much more worth it, and happiness was easier to find.

Who is this person writing this now?

I never thought that being so [empty] could affect me as much as it has. I remember what it was like to feel loved, to love, to love unconditionally and blissfully. Love is so foreign to me now, yet I want it. I want to feel it again. I want to feel “it” again. Until that day comes, if it ever decides to, I feel it’s best to try and learn more about this so called “life” we live in. Some live it more than others, and to those who do live it I applaud you for chasing after what you want. What you desire.

The greatest danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it’s too low and we reach it. – Michelangelo

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